Highway 9 was closed for almost nine hours yesterday after several trees fell across the roadway overnight. Caltrans crews closed Pierce Road just west of Saratoga until 4 p.m. to remove the trees.
Good lead overall; just see if you can make it work as one sentence.
Also, be careful with your facts: this exercise says Hwy. 9 was closed at Pierce Road, but it doesn't specifically say that Caltrans crews closed Pierce Road. Maybe they did, but you can't make assumptions in the news biz. If you're not sure, don't write it.
This is one case where you might want to include the "why" of the story in the lead, because people are going to wonder why a bunch of trees suddenly fell on the road. You could easily do that by adding "during a storm" to the end of your first sentence.
Good lead overall; just see if you can make it work as one sentence.
ReplyDeleteAlso, be careful with your facts: this exercise says Hwy. 9 was closed at Pierce Road, but it doesn't specifically say that Caltrans crews closed Pierce Road. Maybe they did, but you can't make assumptions in the news biz. If you're not sure, don't write it.
This is one case where you might want to include the "why" of the story in the lead, because people are going to wonder why a bunch of trees suddenly fell on the road. You could easily do that by adding "during a storm" to the end of your first sentence.
4.5/5